How to Clarify Miscommunications



Many process breakdowns and difficulties in team managment are the result of miscommunication.  Here is a specific method for resolving these problems and improving our communication.

1.  Ask Permission.
"I think we may have a small communication breakdown that I would like to discuss with you.  Would now be a good time?"  Be willing to hear "no", but then ask to arrange a specific meeting time.

2.  Clarify Purpose
Remind others (and yourself) of the intent of the conversation:
    To clarify communication.
    To avoid future misunderstandings.
    NOT blaming (which is always counterproductive).

Remember:  Your staff share your goals.  Your team members are professionals who take pride in their work and strive to do a good job.

3. Be willing to admit your part.  Communication is a two-way street so be sure to take responsibility for your contribution to the breakdown.

4. State the Objective facts and observations.  Get confirmation.  (It's not a fact unless everyone agrees).

5. State the Subjective experiences: Your assumptions, recollections, expectations, interpretations, conclusions, etc.
Distinguish the stuff in your head from the objective tangible and concrete facts.

6. Inquire about others Subjective experiences.  "What did you hear?"  "Is that how you recollect it?"  "What were your assumptions?"

7.  Many times the cause of the breakdown will appear spontaneously as people share the subjective experiences.  E.g., "Oh, I see, when you said "Due Monday" I thought you meant due at the project meeting, not at 8:00am."

8.  If the cause hasn't revealed itself spontaneously, then inquire: "What do you think might be the cause of the breakdown?"
Brainstorm as a group to try to identify what went awry.

9.  Plan:  How could we improve in the future? 
Tip: Saying "What could I do differently?" shows that you are willing to change and be willing to admit your part. 

10.  Acknowledge everyone for participating.