How to Clarify Miscommunications
Many process breakdowns and difficulties in team managment are the result of
miscommunication. Here is a specific method for resolving these
problems and improving our communication.
1. Ask Permission.
"I think we may have a small communication breakdown that I would like
to discuss with you. Would now be a good time?" Be willing
to hear "no", but then ask to arrange a specific meeting time.
2. Clarify Purpose
Remind others (and yourself) of the intent of the conversation:
To clarify communication.
To avoid future misunderstandings.
NOT blaming (which is always counterproductive).
Remember: Your staff share your goals. Your team members
are professionals who take pride in their work and strive to do a good
job.
3. Be willing to admit your part. Communication is a two-way
street so be sure to take responsibility for your contribution to the
breakdown.
4. State the Objective facts and observations. Get
confirmation. (It's not a fact unless everyone agrees).
5. State the Subjective experiences: Your assumptions, recollections,
expectations, interpretations, conclusions, etc.
Distinguish the stuff in your head from the objective tangible and
concrete facts.
6. Inquire about others Subjective experiences. "What did you
hear?" "Is that how you recollect it?" "What were your
assumptions?"
7. Many times the cause of the breakdown will appear
spontaneously as people share the subjective experiences. E.g.,
"Oh, I see, when you said "Due Monday" I thought you meant due at the
project meeting, not at 8:00am."
8. If the cause hasn't revealed itself spontaneously, then
inquire: "What do you think might be the cause of the breakdown?"
Brainstorm as a group to try to identify what went awry.
9. Plan: How could we improve in the future?
Tip: Saying "What could I do differently?" shows that you are willing
to change and be willing to admit your part.
10. Acknowledge everyone for participating.